Frank and Fully

One way to work with yourself when you’re having a hard time or feeling intense emotions is to have a conversation with yourself.

Here’s how it works:

• Step 1: Write down whatever you’re feeling. Try asking yourself: “What do you need to say?” or “What do you want to say?” Then write whatever words come up. Sometimes you might write one line. Other times you might need to pour out a bunch of words. Let yourself be as “frank” as possible. Let the part of you that needs to speak say whatever it needs to say. This is for you, and for you only.

• Step 2: Pick out the boldest statement or summarize what you’re feeling into a sentence or two. Example: “I am at capacity.” This was a statement I was repeating to myself recently.

• Step 3: On a new page, write the statement on the left side of your paper.

• Step 4: Now take a breath or close your eyes or do whatever you need to do to feel centered. See if you can connect to your inner wisdom. Your higher self. Infinite Intelligence. You can call it whatever feels right to you. I refer to this part of myself as “the fullest version of myself.”

• Step 5: Allow the fullest version of yourself to respond to your original statement. Write this response on the right side of your paper. Example: When I wrote “I am at capacity,” the fullest version of myself responded: “What are you holding?”

• Step 6: Allow the conversation to unfold, going back and forth between the two sides of the paper. Let the two voices respond to each other and see what happens. Try not to figure anything out. Just let the words come up and write them down.

Using two sides of the paper is one way to show your brain that you’re having a conversation with different parts of yourself.

Another method is to alternate writing with your dominant and non-dominant hands. You could also use different colored pens or different writing utensils to indicate the shift in voice. Or you could write how you usually do but draw a line between the different sections of writing. Experiment, play, and have fun with this. There is no right or wrong way to have a conversation with yourself!

When I started doing this practice, I came up with names for the two voices:

• “Frank” is the name for the voice I use when I’m writing how I feel and what I’m experiencing.

• “Fully” is the name for the voice of my higher self or my fullest self. I call this practice Frank and Fully. I even created little illustrations for these characters. Using the names and illustrations helps me to feel light about this practice.

When I’m in a funk or something is bothering me, I often resist all the things that I know will help. But when something is fun and light and feels like a game, I'm much more likely to do it, especially when I'm having a hard time.

With Frank and Fully, I can show up how I am and simply say how I feel. When I connect with my inner wisdom, I often see things from a different perspective. Choices become available to me that I couldn’t see before.

You could do this practice in your head, never writing it down. But making record of how you feel is one way to put a "pin in the map" and mark how you feel in this specific moment. Later, you can read what you wrote and see where you were. You can notice how you've shifted or what's coming up again.

The Frank and Fully practice is one way I shift my energy when I’m having a hard time. Incremental shifts over time have contributed to monumental changes in my life. Give it a try and see if it helps you!

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With love,

Sarah